How hard is it to actually speak up your mind?
Most of the time, I m taken to be a person who says everything on their mind. True and not true.
Yes, I do not have a filter on my mouth but there are literally the layers of filters on my mind.
Some of those filters are implanted. Legit, namely: peer pressure, society impressions, am I forgetting anything? Oh yeah, Parents instructions.
Every other evening when I m talking to them, my calls usually start with Mom asking ever so important question: Had something to eat? I say yes but in my mind its usually like mom I m a fat guy, I need to be fed. obviously, I had food.duh.
and end with her asking me not to say everything out loud, and don’t get into arguments with friends or co-workers.
I’ll save you the very very uncomfortable conversation that follows and tell you this: 1. Don’t argue with mom; that’s what mom advised you. 2. Tell her that you won’t speak your mind. At least just tell her.

Every single day, I really would just want to remove all the filters and say everything on my mind. See, I work in IT where I deal with clients and people from all around. To actually keep happy, I would have to walk with an ice pack over my head. Now you know the reasons why IT companies have really really low temperatures on their ACs, to avoid creating any new Mad Queens/ Kings.

We have always been told “How others behave to you is not in your control, but how you react to them sure is your choice”, but do you know where it comes from? The original statement is “It Is Not What Happens To You It Is How You Respond To It”. While one talks about always having the right behavior with people, the other suggests to be optimistic and work trough situations. Let me repeat S I T U A T I O N S, not humans, not people, Situations, and that statement I get, Situations are results of so many things, they may work out, might not. But your reaction can totally turn it all around. But the fact is the situation does not have a behavioral trait. They are good or bad. People, however, have multiple behavior traits, and if you are lucky enough, you know their traits. But most of us have no idea which personality is hidden in between their lines of an open book.

Don’t tell me you never lost all the amount of respect, love or any feeling for a person after a few years of being friends with them. I have. And it’s okay, maybe situations changed, you changed. It happens. The important thing is escalating the process of really knowing them as soon as possible.

How to do that? Yes, telling you! calm down!

Now with all the layers of their personalities, you will have to peel through each one very carefully, to get to the actual one, the real them, the soul.

*really?*

No, of course not. This is My blog, not a self-help book from ~ authentic ~ Instagram influencer.

For others to be as true to you as you want them to be, you need to shed all your layers and show them your natural true self.

Now look on your face is for one of the two things
1. I can’t show them the real me, that would make me vulnerable.
2. I m an open-book, I don’t have masks.
if its one, understand one thing, vulnerability is not that bad, yes you might end up hurting yourself by opening up to the wrong person but in the process, you will successfully eliminate horrible people from your life and have a tighter and better sense in judging people. By judging I mean understanding why people are getting close to you, what is the motive and is it selfish or self-centered.

While talking of selfish and self-centered, let me tell you: everyone is selfish and that’s okay, everyone wants what’s good for them. But the people who are self-centered only want what’s good for them and that’s not okay, they are reckless and they don’t care who they end up hurting. Those are the people who you should be away from.

Coming to the second one. HA. HA. HA. Sweetheart, telling everyone how stupid you acted that one time and have the ability to laugh at your own self, that’s not being an open book. So if you think even for one second that you don’t have layers, you do. And the last one is so strong that you can’t even see your own self clearly. So while struggling to uncover someone else, start with yourself and uncover yourself.

I have been told, more than I could count on my fingers, that I have no filter. I have asked my sexist uncle to shut up in the middle of a party because he thought that unconventional jobs are not for women. I have asked one of the colleagues to take a hard look at his face before he calls other people out for going home early. I have told a group of people “worst humans ever” just because they were. Yes, I don’t have a filter. I don’t think twice before showing people who they really are. Does that make me rude? NO. If anything I m just saying the truth.

Uncle was sexist and he needed to understand that even though he was born in the previous century, he had to get own with the current one.

The colleague needed to understand that he was not anyone’s manager and he had to stay back cause he took a three-hour long lunch and I skipped mine.

The group needed to understand that its a club and not their family, everyone deserves respect even if they are not their group of friends.

I said it not because I m blunt. I said it cause I m sharp and have no filters. Now they know that I m not up with their BS and they can just be their true ugly self in front of me as I too was just plain myself.

Has my no filter policy put me through the trouble? Yes, many times. Has it done me more bad than good? No. I work in peace now and work in my own time. I don’t have to fake smile at the horrible group. I have one less relative asking me about my future. See works wonders.

Start speaking your mind. You will realize how many people that you sooner or later would have lost in life, run away from you. But more importantly, you will see people with the same love and care that you have to give, come closer to you and are there to stay through and through.

So next time you put on a #nofilter selfie, write down a bitter truth about yourself that might hurt some, but ultimately make the people who love you, love YOU, even more.