I tried writing this piece at least three times, discarded each one of them. I was writing it in so much anger, that people reading it would get the same vibes and probably plan to kill me. The energy I put into writing is translated through my work to everyone that reads it, and honestly, with the state of mind I was in, I could never write a piece that was calming and funny, but rather it would be me ranting. Wait, that’s the blog is all about, but still.

So, to give you a basic idea, I’m in a job, that is kind of fun, I get to learn a lot. But with all the perks there are a few downsides as well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to learn, but if my job makes my outside the cubical life ZERO, I don’t want it. I mean, I’m earning so that I have a life outside the office. I that doesn’t exist, why bother? This is the simplest way I can put it right now, after, what seemed like and everlasting dilemma.

For almost a month I was confused to what exactly am I doing!? I was learning in the start but now that also has stopped, I’m into constant questioning to show my work. SHOW MY WORK. Imagine proving all day long that you are doing something! I tried for a few days to do that, show my tasks and my work, but it’s not exactly the ‘Yeah, I achieved something at the end of the day, feeling!’  Every evening it would get worse. Constant anxiety and self-doubt were making it impossible for me to have a sleep, let alone a good sleep.

One day amongst all this chaos, one of my friends called me up. After a long game of blank and missed calls, we finally managed to set a common time across two time zones and finally talked! We were happy talking and out of nowhere she broke into tears. She started her job a few months back and she was sobbing about it to me. I didn’t share the same words with her, but shared complete set of sentiments that she had.

She is new in job and still hasn’t got a single chance to prove her worth. She is still considered almost as good as an intern and conclusion; she feels useless in her job. Accepted and granted. I mean it’s her first job and it’s been 6 months since she started working, people might not trust her with standard jobs yet. But that is the thing with IT industry, you have to constantly prove your worth and you have to start early, really early. This is something they should somehow be teaching you in your higher education, and trust me they do. They always tell you to be in touch with latest technology. You hear something new is there in the market, you explore it. Always start early.

Just before this I made it sound like this is her fault. But no, at least not entirely. Understand that to know if a person has a potential, it’s not always possible for them to jump at an opportunity. Most people, most, are rational, they take a step back and see the overall look at the peripherals of that opportunity. By the time they come to a conclusion, somebody is halfway through in getting that shit done. This reminds me of a quote by Richard Branson, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.” While I don’t entirely stand by it, I do encourage and use it with a pinch of salt.

But, the final outcome to all these thoughts in my head is that, these things are messing with my head and sending me in a loop of thinking about thinking about anxiety about working! Basically, way too much mental exertion. Finally, I thought of a simple idea and applied it and also shared it with her. Two Hours.

Yes, TWO HOURS. Plan and think of just next two hours. You have a long day with multiple meetings and complex tasks. Fine. What of it is in next two hours. Think of the, align on them and work on them. Just those tasks under those two hours.

We both were frustrated about the tasks and things that happened or would happen and just getting ourselves into the mess. While external factors were immensely contributing to it, we just had to focus at task in hand and plan for just next two hours, nothing about this week, this month. Just next Two Hours and I’m done.

 It’s not just with her, or me, or you; this is something with our generation: The millennials. This set of people are incredibly talented and are amazingly devoted to work. But, they are living an extremely pretentious life of Kombucha juice and Power Yoga! We are frustrated, we are tiered, that too without doing anything. We are the generation that starts stupid march for stupid things. But as Vir Das said, this generation, when they get angry, you will see the most beautiful things happen (b.g.: Nirbhaya Rape). Just to take liberty in my own writing; When this generation focuses on the right thing, they can make the most beautiful things happen.

So, my tip, that I’m trying to use too – Focus on next two hours and breathe, just breathe! Also, please eat chocolates – a lot of it. Stop pretending that you have gluten allergy. O god so many things I would like to tell to them. Another blog about it, what say!? For now, my two hours are done for this day to write this. Done.

Just one thing though, if you have some different viewpoints, please send me a comment/ mail or even a dm on insta! Let’s discuss!